Peace

It's dark and cold in the playroom tonight, even the moonlight coming in the window is dim. He bound my wrists behind my back and my ankles together and left me kneeling in the middle of the room. Time becomes unreal and unimportant in this place. i neither know nor care how long i've been kneeling because He'll only be back when He is ready, unless i call out. But why call out? There is nowhere i'd rather be.

i prefer nights like this, to be honest. It's not all about the sex for me. What i crave is the peace. The control i learn from Him gives me a feeling of happiness that nothing else can compare with.

He pushes me.

i reach new places.

i am happy.

i lose myself and my thoughts in stillness and focus. my body tingles and i feel so alive. The only sound is the air conditioner running and the cool air blowing across my naked body raises goose bumps and threatens a violent chill shiver. i take a slow deep breath and manage to refrain from moving, keeping my position in perfect stillness as i've been trained.

These are the tiny moments that fill me with pride. He most likely would never have known had i indulged the impulse. The reaction would have been natural, understandable even. But i didn't move.

i am at peace.

This is where i need to be.